Companionship in Trials

In 2009, I was scheduled to help homeschool my out-of-town grandchildren with my daughter-in-law, Marinelle when the cancer diagnosis came. 

Now, I would need to stay in town for treatments, helping as much as possible while staying at home.

This would test my faith. A diagnosis of cancer can bring a heightened fear in one’s life. It did to me.

I always appreciated the scripture in Isaiah 53:5, which focuses on how we are healed by the wounds of Christ. With that scripture in mind, I knitted two pale yellow crosses, put that scripture on a piece of cloth, tucked it inside them, and stitched them together. I pinned that cross inside my clothes over the mass to be removed.

I asked the Lord for guidance with treatments and shared this with my family. 

One day, the scripture came to me about the birds and flowers and not to worry as God takes care of them (Matthew 6:27). I also thought about Jesus saying not to worry about tomorrow as tomorrow will take care of things that day (Matthew 6:34).

As I sat with these scriptures, silent and entirely in the moment, It seemed as if I could hear the Lord whisper to me to allow these scriptures to penetrate my soul. With that thought, I weighed the thought of fear and of faith. Being in that moment brought me face to face with my faith and commands to obey the scriptures.

The very idea of not obeying the scripture brought true conviction in me. I asked the Lord to help me. A steadiness came with the Lord’s help, and I completely obeyed. 

A few days later, a joyous feeling washed over me,  flowing over my chest and that knitted cross, then down to my feet! It was so wonderful. Such joy! I felt such freedom in the Lord! 

This joy was familiar to me. I have experienced it throughout my Christian life. I can’t help but believe that blessing came because scripture was obeyed earlier.  

A few weeks later, I was listening to some sermons on tapes I found in my son’s room after he left home. I borrowed them from his room and listened to about two of them. As I got through part of the last tape, I realized it wasn’t a sermon but a lecture on breast cancer! 

I had taped this lecture twenty-five years ago. I started to turn the tape off but had the impression that I should continue listening to the message. 

After a few moments of listening, to my surprise, my daughter, Janet, started singing. She was singing Amy Grant’s song, “Lay Down the Burdens of Your Heart.” 

“Lay down the burden of your heart…and show your daddy where it hurts and let your daddy lift it.”

A few lines played, and then the tape returned to the lecture.

I couldn’t believe it! My daughter would have been about thirteen or fourteen years old then. I couldn’t understand how this tape came to be in my son’s room. 

My personal tapes were kept in my room. I sat in silence and pondered,  “This message was meant for me to hear.”

At this time and moment, I thought about God’s omniscience and omnipresence. God knew about my current trial twenty-five years ago. He knew I would pick up this tape in a very unexpected place and get the needed message.  

I knew the Lord was walking with me and rejoiced in that understanding. God was indeed companioning me on this journey.

I delighted in this sweet understanding that God knew my present thoughts in this trial. The beauty and directness of God’s leadership is that of a great companion. It was as if his steps were before, beside, and behind me. Amen.

My part in that companionship was allowing God’s leading and respecting how God chose to direct me. The results of obeying the Word of God are true blessings and sure guidance with each step taken.

I went through treatments and have lived thus far being thankful for lessons learned. The journey did further enlighten my faith and helped give me deeper insights into the love and companionship of God. That companionship is like the perfect dance! Step by step, guided by mercy and grace. A companion who knows us intimately.