3 Lessons Learned from My Un-Thanksgiving

If you are like me, you are starting to feel the pressure that comes with preparing for the holidays. So, before we reach a point of frustration, let’s just pause for a moment. There you go. Now pull up a chair and take a deep breath. There’s a story I have been wanting to share with you about my first un-Thanksgiving.

It happened several years ago. My mother was recovering from surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in her stomach. Her prognosis looked promising. She was finishing her chemo, and moving into the next phase of treatment which was radiation. This is when her health started taking a turn for the worse.

Mom was admitted to the hospital shortly before Thanksgiving. Test after test left the doctors shaking their heads. What in the world was going on? None of the tests were conclusive. The only thing that was sure to our family was that Mom would not be home for the traditional Thanksgiving celebration.

We were sick of heart. This would be our first un-Thanksgiving.

• Unwatched Thanksgiving Day parade and football games
• Unused bakeware filled to the brim with tasty morsels
• Untold stories as the family gathered around the table
• Unlit Pilgrim candles that Steve and Mom playfully fought over every year
• Unattended dance party during kitchen cleanup
• Unsung Christmas songs at the end of the day

Despite all the traditional festivities left undone that year, Thanksgiving 2008 is one I will always cherish as the most memorable. It was that year, that I learned some valuable lessons that continue to teach me when I start to feel the pressure from the holiday bustle. These are the lessons I wish to share with you. Maybe together we can allow these truths to remind us of something more important than the hustle.

1. Slow down enough to notice the gifts right in front of you.
   After spending some time grieving the loss of traditional celebrations that year, we shook off the heaviness of what we didn’t have and began looking for what we did have. Mom was still with us. We still had each other. We pulled together a small feast, packed it up in whatever containers we could find, and had our first Thanksgiving dinner in the hospital waiting room. We still had cherished memories of holidays past. We had friends faithfully carrying the load with us in prayer.
2. Steady your pace so you can take in the blessings around you. Even now as I reflect on that Thanksgiving, I see the faces of doctors and nurses who gave up their holiday to tend to our care. They would pop in and out of the room, sometimes sharing a story, an encouraging word, or a smile. Some even shared in our meager feast. A friend once told me that we live in a forward-facing culture, always rushing to the next thing. But God intends for us to live in the full range of who He is and who we are. That means we need to look up, look around, and live with our eyes open to all the potential grace gifts God extends to us daily.
3. Take a deep breath and exhale praise for the Spirit of God within you. It is only through God’s Spirit that I can look back on that Thanksgiving with a heart of gratitude. The Holy Spirit is our comforter. He guides us through times of difficulty, change, and even the mundane places of life.

Little did we know that our first Un-Thanksgiving would be our last with Mom. Oh, but the lessons learned, and the memories made keep on giving. Tearfully I confess that I would not trade that Thanksgiving for anything.

So, my friend, whatever your holidays look like, I hope that these three lessons I learned will be a whisper in your ear, reminding you to slow the pace enough to take in all the beauty this season has to offer.

Wishing you and yours a hope-filled Holidays.